4 months more to go. Thats like a blink of an eye thing.

I cant sleep thinking about a lot of things. To be frank, anxiety is eating me up. Many are asking me about the preparation's progress. Well, its moving. Not as fast as others I think, but at least its not stagnant. I'm pretty lucky to have my other close friends to share thoughts and feelings with - four of 'em are getting married this year. We compare, we share and we remind each other. Like me, they too are being swayed by all kinds of emotion's ride - happy, petrified, jumpy.

I am all that and more. It feels like standing still in the middle of a fast-moving crowd. I wish there's someone out there who will grab me by the shoulder and shake me off my panic state of being.

I was feeling rather dreamy with my wedding, that is until someone woke my logic up last night. So yea, whats with all the hassle and effort of planning an entire wedding that finally will leads to nothing but a 4 hours joy of wearing bridal gown? I'm just being a woman, I suppose. Probably thats what differs me and him. So what if I wanna stare at my pelamin design for a full 8 hours? I'm gonna pay for it, I'm gonna sit on it and I'm gonna make sure that the whole event thing I'm planning is gonna be a great one to whomever comes to visit. So if I stare at 'em for 8 hours..its my own time I'm wasting. And no, I did not stare at it for 8 hours. I'm not all ridiculous.

Honestly, if I wanna do it right, it would be just the akad and nothing more. And i'll save all the hours of preparing for a wedding with designing logos and writing copies and think of ideas for print ads. But I too, have a lifetime to spend flipping through pages of my wedding memories. So, 8 hours of staring at my pelamin, 4 hours joy of wearing bridal gown, thousands and thousands of ringgit to reward myself with one perfect day of my life...if it equals to my frikking happiness, why not? I'm a photographer, a designer, a copywriter - what do you think drive me to be all these if not for my emotions and feelings?

Sorry for the rant. I've been bottling it up for so long.

Sigh. Mm. I'm going for the course this week. I hate courses. I dont know exactly why we need it. Basically, people go for it just because. The rule has been written and as a good citizen, one must follow. I doubt people go for the courses to educate themselves on marriage. Ironically, from what I heard, the statistic of divorce shoots up each year. I just hope the course I'm going is REALLY going to teach me something.

A bit of update - I have switched photographer. Anna Rina isn't available for both dates so we are going for Syahrin Aziz for his side and Picture Elements for my side. Luckily for us to have a lot of great photographer friends but even though we are, we're still a bit picky when it comes to this matter. I love Syahrin for his composition and story-telling while Grom (Picture Elements), oh Grom has always been my favorite photographer for the longest of time. His work is always different and really gets to you. If you have the budget, you can try to hire these three fav photographers of mine - Anna Rina, Syahrin Aziz and Picture Elements. If you are a bit on the tight side, you can hire me. Haha. Oh, btw..I personally think that Picture Elements website doesnt quite do Grom much justice. I've seen his portfolios and they are wayy better.

I recommend you not because they are THE wedding photographer or whatever. But its more because I know them personally and I see them as a person than a company, you know what I mean? I know Anna Rina is one very happy-go-lucky gal, I know Syahrin yang sangat baik hati and Grom who's respectable and very very humble. I love Whizarts too. Their pictures are WOW through the end. But my pocket isn't deep enough to hire them. I'm still sad that I Anna Rina isn't available :(

I might be flying to Jakarta in April for a pre-wedding shoot with Syahrin. Actually, I dont feel like doing it coz it seems like very membazir but my fiance insisted on it. See if I change my mind, I'll go along with the plan. (Yea right) I've actually talked to Agam, my friend in Jakarta about using his cafe, Anomali in Kebayoran Baru as a location. The upper floor of the cafe is totally totally beautiful. On the lower floor lies a huge window with a one-seater couch so perfect for a shoot. I told Agam that I wanted to rent the space but he told me to just give him a date so he could tell his crew to be ready and the rest of it will be his wedding gift to me! Hihi. I'm excited. No, not because of the pre-wedding shoot but more because of Agam's kopi tubruk! If any of you are planning to go to Jakarta, head on to Anomali for great coffee.


The place I told you about.

Another spot. Thats me and my friends camwhoring, btw.

I'm gonna meet my make-up artist and tailor to finalize on my wedding dresses which includes baju for akad, two wedding dresses, one dress for the cutting-cake ceremony and one baju kurung for bertandang. I dont know if I need the majlis berinai though. If i do, then that means I have to think of what to wear for that too. Wah, a lot weh.

I am in love with Indonesian lace. Cantik banget sih! I'm considering either that or French lace for the reception's dresses. I'm thinking of finding my own fabric for the cutting-cake ceremony and make a very simple flowy dress. Still contemplating on that. Hmm. I can go endless with dresses. I can have a lot of it and wont care :P

Had fun blog-hopping around. Lots of helpful resources, these people really devote their time writing in, linking and inserting ads and badges and stuff. I dont have the patience and lack of time is my number one reason. So as much as I want this blog to be as informative, I'd rather keep it as a personal jots. So if you're looking around for resources - this blog aint it.

Right, I think i've blog too much its causing me nausea. Till then, TTFN!